Charles: We start this whole conversation about, “What is it? How do some people stay together and other folks don’t?” Also, just a real quick side note, my grandparents were married for over 50 years but I can’t tell you that they would have been the best model for a marriage. They were married out of cultural commitment. “Our age, our group we don’t get divorced because that’s more of an embarrassment and I was more willing to deal with being unhappy than the embarrassment of my peers telling me that I wasn’t supposed to be together.”
That wasn’t our model. Our real focus and desire is we wanted to not have to worry about, “Are you going to be there in the morning, or is there going to be some issue?” We boiled things down to, in our life we felt like if we focus on us first and keeping adventure involved and keeping things fresh and exciting that it would at least help. That’s why we look at Travel, Eat Well, Workout, Have Fun. My question to you is, from your experience how important is adventure in your relationship?
Dr. Schewitz: You said it really well. It’s so important because it keeps things fresh, it keeps things exciting. It gives you something new and exciting to talk about. Sometimes it can get stale, like you said, the same routine, coming home to the kids, making dinner, whatever it is that your routine is. Switching it up gets you out of that mindset. It shakes the energy in the relationship. It really allows you that sense of fun. [inaudible 10:43] really is the best work finding adventure together where you can connect on a new, different energy level.
Linda: It’s so important because we’ve talked to couples … Actually our massage therapist, I just had a conversation with her last Sunday during the massage about couples, or about her relationship. He works, she works, they have kids they have a newborn and they don’t do date night. I was like, “You don’t go out once a month?” I’m like, “Once a month is the minimum.” Wouldn’t you agree? You have to get out and spend time with one another and decompress and have some adventure.
Dr. Schewitz: Just as you said, Charles, eating well super important, sleeping well super important, working out super important and those are things that are so important whether you’re in a relationship or not. That’s basic self care that if you’re lacking those things, you’re not going to be a happy, healthy person. Flat out, you’re not. Then adding in the element of traveling, adventuring, doing cool stuff together, that really brings your relationship to a new level. Those other things, they have to be there regardless for you to survive in life. You have to eat well, you have to exercise, you have to do all those things. The adventure is to bring your relationship from here, to here.
Charles: Also, for our listeners, we’ve now have been together 30 years married going on 26 just for the record. Let’s keep it straight. I can also remember a time where there either wasn’t time on the clock or there wasn’t money in the bank to go out and live what we thought was an extravagant lifestyle. I wish everyone could travel to Fuji and go see the South Pacific, it’s absolutely amazing and beautiful and the people there are lovely. If that’s not an option for you, that doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t try to do something. Even today being conscientious about what we’re eating, it could be expensive when I can go to McDonald’s and feed my family for five bucks because they got those 10 pounds of food for a dollar meal deals. If I try to go eat organic and non-GMO, I could get a head of broccoli and it’s the same 10 dollars. I’m joking here, obviously, but you’ve got to pick and choose where you’re going to start to make changes and make a difference.
When it comes to the travel aspect, you don’t have to go halfway around the world you can go down the street. Oftentimes, because we work together again for those who don’t know we are typically less that’s six feet apart 24 hours a day. We sleep together, we shower together, we eat together, we work together, we do everything together. If we don’t deliberately intentionally do things it can cause some issues. Even just getting up and going for a walk around the block in the middle of the daytime, in the early evening can be just enough to clear your head, get out of the cobwebs. Let the kids make noise while you’re doing something different. To Linda’s point, I would say try to find a way to go out and do something else. It doesn’t always have to be expensive and nor should it put you in debt to do it.