We've been taught that communication is the key to a stable relationship, but I believe that knowledge is the foundation.
Knowing what your partner needs to feel loved, understanding their personality traits, and seeing them for who they are as human beings instead of what we've built up in our minds to be is crucial. The knowledge I believe is more important than communication.
I come from an entrepreneurial relationship. My husband has been an entrepreneur our entire marriage. So I use a lot of business analogies when I speak about relationships.
When we are starting a business, we research, analyze, get coaching, bring in the experts, and invest our time and money into the startup. As the company grows, we continue to invest resources in pursuing a path to a successful business. If we see pain points, we dedicate time to get the rough edges smoothed out, so our work will continue to run in a positive direction.
Why wouldn't we take this same method and use it in our marriage?
Too many times I think we take our relationship for granted as it will always be there. If we do not put effort into our business, it will eventually stop producing. I believe the same goes for our marriage.
I have heard people say; I just can't figure him/her out. Women are complicated. Men are difficult. I listened to a passage in a book called Love Lives Here by Maria and Bob Golf. The passage said, The idea of figuring each other out sounds like a project, instead look at it as finding each other out, that sounds more like an adventure. I loved that!
I've read that the divorce rate for married couples in the United States is around 50%, the divorce rate for entrepreneurs hovers around 70%. That is sadly disturbing. Maybe we do not need any more "five steps to a successful marriage" programs or "follow these guidelines, and you'll have marital bliss" books. I believe what we need is true reflection time. We need time to look at ourselves closely, and figure out what we can contribute. We need to stop looking outward for what is readily available inside each of us. When I see couples finish each other's sentences, I see intimacy; it is so lovely.
It's sad that we accept the social norm that marriage is not forever. We have let ourselves believe that failing in our relationship does not affect our business. I do not believe this to be so. I think if you're not getting what you need in your home it is your responsibility to analyze, hire coaching, invest money, time, and energy the same way you would if your numbers were plummeting in your business. We brag about being different, being an entrepreneur, thinking outside of the box, never giving up on our dreams. I think there should be more bragging about being loyal and having a happy marriage.
"Authentic love, whispers the words we are thinking and is gracious enough to let us believe that we've come up with them ourselves." ~ Bob Golf
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